Indian Ernie: Between Toughness and Awareness, PTSD

0
In 1999 I unintentionally brought my wife with me on a police pursuit which ended with the deaths of two people in Saskatoon.  A couple celebrating Valentine’s day were killed by a stolen car driven by a criminal out on bail for robbery among other things. I did not actually have my wife with me but in the days and weeks afterwards I would physically go through the driving motions and mumble, talk or shout the dialogue from that night while I was asleep.  My wife told me I was reliving the incident frequently and I thought she was exaggerating until she told me details I had not told her or anyone else.  It upset me and I quietly vowed to be stronger.
It did not work. Over the years my wife in what must be the eeriest of experiences in our home in the middle of the night has heard me confront armed suspects, notify next of kin and describe death scenes to the coroner or detectives.