You would think that waking up the morning of your tenth anniversary would be all roses, especially when you are away on a mini getaway for two, eating nice meals and exploring natural wonders of the world.
Certainly you would think that both parties would be on their best behaviour and there would not be any reason to spoil the positive energy of the day. You would think that two people, so in love, would have nothing to complain about and life would be just peachy.
In the real world, there is no such thing as perfect. In the real world, life happens. In the real world, even the most well-meaning people get into disagreements, even at the most inopportune moments.
There we were, heading out after a quick breakfast. The plan was to do some browsing at gift stores. I wanted to look for some décor items for a new room that we were decorating. I wanted the beachy, nautical theme, to represent some of our favourite places to visit.
What started out as my plan to go out for a leisurely stroll turned into a 30 second car ride, because it started to spit rain. No big deal, I thought, let’s just drive instead. I guess a little water can hurt us after all…
At the store, I was like a kid in a candy shop. Well, actually, I was like me in a candy shop. I found a number of adorable pieces that would work perfect in the room.
Clocks, signs, lighthouses, anchors, etc. My theme was shaping right up. The only issue was that my adorable, tenth anniversary hubby, had a little comment for every piece. ‘I can make that’ or ‘I don’t know about that mirror’ or ‘shouldn’t the lighthouse be painted red instead of blue’ or ‘aren’t stars more of an American symbol?’
One little tiny comment after another and two stores later and I began to shed my normally pleasant disposition. I had been looking forward to browsing and shopping for two days when I rarely ever enjoy shopping at all.
What begin as an exciting morning, full of hugs and anniversary energy turned into a muted bickering match in the local tourist trap.
At one point, I finally said, ‘Let’s just go back to the room’. That set a whole lot of drama in motion and my anniversary hubby retreated to the car until I was finished paying for the few items that we actually agreed on.
Back at the car, he started with an apology that escalated again, into the fact that I was over the whole shopping thing and just wanted to stop our little spat. I wanted to enjoy our day and just stop talking.
Thirty seconds back to the hotel and we were now in silent treatment mode. I remained in the car to pout and he headed up to the room. Thoughts of frustration entered my mind as I couldn’t believe that something so trivial like the colour of a lighthouse or a metal red and white star could cause such a kerfuffle.
He eventually came back to the vehicle, we went in circles once again and eventually sorted everything out, once we were both back in the room. A few tears, a number of apologies and some serious hugs later and we were good to go.
Not exactly what I had in mind for the morning of our tenth anniversary but it turned out to build more communication, speedy resolution and the realization that I should never, ever rush him out the door before he has finished his first full cup of coffee.
Who knew that denying him the pleasure of a leisurely drink, which he is so seriously addicted to, could spin off a series of misunderstandings, mini frustrations or conflicting décor battles?
On the other hand, if you asked his side of the story, he would say that am overly sensitive, I blew his little comments way out of proportion, he was just giving his opinion, I should have bought what I wanted, even if he didn’t like them and he didn’t mean to cause any issues, especially on such a special day.
For anyone who has ever been in a relationship, we all know that two people who spend a ton of time together, will eventually get into some conflict. Sometimes, we just need to lock horns and hash it out, so we can move on.
What I learned is that I still have a tendency to hold things inside and then form a story about what all of the little things mean. This does not serve me and only causes further unnecessary suffering for everyone involved.
We are human beings with feelings, various perspectives and issues from our past that determine how we will handle stress. If we really love someone we will sit down calmly, lay our feelings on the table and listen to the other side of the story.
The rest of our day turned out to be fantastic. We hiked Tahquamenon Falls, which was a beautiful excursion. We lovingly walked hand in hand, whispered sweet nothings to one another and vowed that our love would conquer anything that comes our way.
If we listed all of the things we have been through together, it is a no brainer that it is worth a few little hiccups along the way. Happy Anniversary week my love!! Thank you for loving me, especially when I am grumpy…
‘Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.’ ~ Oscar Wilde
Additional photos of Tahquamenon Falls can be found at: www.Facebook.com/JulieHryniewicz