The Train Will Come…


As I sit to write after midnight, in my cozy little home office, under the light of a beautiful homemade lamp made of leaves pressed into paper and rocks in a mason jar, I am looking up at my collage on the wall and trinkets on my book shelf.

I have some thought provoking books pending a read, new journals and partially filled journals, jars with marbles, candles, a glass container with little rocks and a tree made of black wire and jewellery, hanging tapestries, an antique looking black table top trunk, coasters that say, “Relax’ and a glass star that hangs in the window to reflect sunlight.

I have a dry erase marker board, which I picked up at the dollar store, with a photo of a travel postal stamp and trolley car photo in the background, some of my favourite photos of loved ones, a bright orange flower painted by a young artist, that I obtained on my latest adventure and a stunning wall painting from a local artist, that reminds me of the sun.

I have empty postcards with a drawing of a chocolate factory, inspirational quotes, a lantern made of bright blue patterned material, artistic bookmarks and greetings cards, including a blue card with a sunflower on it. I picked up the sunflower card at the post office and it reminds me of my favourite movie of all time ~ ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’.

There is a line from the movie that I recall stopping and rewinding several times, in order to write it down in my journal. The line was this:

‘They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.’ ~ Under the Tuscan Sun

For some reason, that movie has had a huge impact on me. I used to own the DVD, I have watched it several times and when it plays on television, I always record it and watch it again. It is about healing, love, passions, finding yourself, vision, exploring, venturing, renewing, dreaming and moving forward.

I think maybe it sums up my life, in a lot of ways. I feel that sometimes I am watching a movie of my life. I see people, things, circumstances and situations, as if I was observing from a position of viewer, instead of participant.

I find meaning in everything around me. I pay attention to the signs. I analyse what has transpired. I think about what things mean, in the grand scheme. I reflect until I am exhausted.

I firmly believe that it is the strong awareness of death and dying that causes me to wonder how to make the most use of my time here. I am aware that we are passing through, on a journey between somewhere to somewhere.

This in between is a pit stop and we get to experience life and all of the pain and confusion and chaos and lessons and opportunities.

When I feel truly connected to something bigger around me, I actually feel less connected to the daily grind. I sense our day-to-day reality, as if it is on mute mode on a television.

Noise and chatter and bustle can be all around me but instead I hear silence. The voices and sounds get muffled and drowned out by the thoughts of something more significant.

When I watch a family of newly born hawks, who nested and are currently living in our back ravine, I am in awe. When I walked the nature trail and stood, this past week, in the water, under Bridal Veil Falls, early in the morning, with no one around and the sun beaming down, I felt connected.

As I watched the sun set on Manitoulin Island and watched the sky dancing with the colours of purple and pink and blue and orange, as we stood in front of a lighthouse, on a rock that was cut vertically into the landscape, I was stunned with magnificence.

These moments must be what artists feel when they paint or draw, what musicians feel when they play or sing, what writers feel when they put words into books, what artistic souls feel when they are creating something original with their own hands.

We get this one chance at life. We can throw it away and allow the noise of our daily lives to drown out the opportunities to explore and grab this life with vigour and excitement. We can choose to make decisions to surround ourselves with things that fuel us or drain us.

We can pick whether we have a grateful heart or a scorned heart. We can choose to live fully or we can go through life kicking and screaming.

Pain can propel us to who we really are and what we really want or it can anchor us like an old beaten and tattered boat that has lost its spirit.

In my cozy office, I am surrounded by items that people have created with their talents and gifts. I am reminded how each person is unique and has something special to share. I have decided to learn what makes me joyful inside so that it can overflow to others.

How can you create cozy spaces in your life? What are you gifted at, that you can share with others? Are you integrating your talents and hobbies into your daily life? Are you making room in your life for the little things that make your heart sing? Are you grateful for what you do have or are you stuck on what is not going right in your life?

Every day, we are reminded how life can end in a swift and instantaneous moment. There is no time to waste on allowing your past to limit your future.

You have unlimited ability to brush the gravel from your knee caps and press on.

May your next week be filled with new energy that allows you to break through anything that might have been holding you back from your authentic life. You must create the atmosphere for good to come into your life. Can you create a small wall collage of the things that inspire you?

Live as if your train will come. What do you want on it? What will it bring you?

‘We are not here to fit in, be well balanced, or provide exempla for others. We are here to be eccentric, different, perhaps strange, perhaps merely to add our small piece, our little clunky, chunky selves, to the great mosaic of being… we are here to become more and more ourselves.’ ~ James Hollis

P.S. Thank you to Sue for the beautiful lamp, Jackie and Dustin for the paintings, Elyse for the little tree in the glass container and my family for many of the loving cards and photos.

Also, I would like to wish a very Happy Birthday weekend to my Mom!!!! I love you Mom…

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