I sit in reflection of the past month of my life. It has been quite a whirlwind. There are too many stories to tell, moments of drama and times where my head has been swelling with chaos. As my husband and my daughter both battle the same violent flu, in the rooms next to me, that I battled this past week, I think of all we have experienced this month.
My husband in bliss welcoming his new granddaughter into the world, while worrying about and supporting his Mom through cancer treatment, moving my daughter out of her house, my surgery, bouts of illness that followed and subsequent healing, dealing with my daughter’s car accident Christmas day, where we spent hours in the emergency department and she kissed her car goodbye, with only minor injuries, along with other complicated circumstances and the busyness of life with my 10 month old grandson in our lives, there have been very few dull moments.
All I can say is that I am grateful that we have survived the month, that a new year has begun and that there have been so many people to help along the way. When I think about the stress and accompanying emotional and physical turmoil that has come up, I can’t imagine doing it without the help and support of our family.
My Mom filled in on numerous occasions to pick up my slack at work and offered inspiring quotes to get us through, my Dad and his family have been invaluable with moving furniture (more than once), hauling garbage to the dump, doing errands, banking and hosting a holiday meal, my sister did an impromptu family function, along with her other planned functions, that was supposed to be at our place, my other sister and niece took on business and administration tasks that I had been responsible for, my husband’s family have all been able to spend time supporting each other, my ex-husband and his family wholeheartedly took on baby care when we were too sick to give him the attention he needed, my Aunt and family sent well messages, quotes and prayers and so much more.
I simply cannot thank everyone enough, for stepping up to help us out, during a time of year when everyone is already overscheduled. I makes me realize how invaluable it is to have a network and support system around when life gets complicated.
There was a time when it would kill me to ask for help, because I would feel like such a failure for not being able to do it all myself. As I get older and wiser, I realize the failure is trying to do it all myself.
Life rarely goes as planned, things really can be a mess, there is no rhyme or reason to the complications that life can deliver, no matter how prepared, planned or organized we are. I am once again reminded of life’s roller coaster of ups and downs. I guess how fun would a roller coaster be if it was all uphill?
The downs provide us with perspective, with the need for reflection and with a reason to be grateful, when we are able to come out on the other side. The downs force us to slow down, take a deep breath and press pause on our daily routine that often keeps us numb.
The downs can also cause us to choose new paths, rid ourselves of habits or patterns that are generating stress in our lives or nudge us to get healthier, stronger or more engaged in consciously creating our future.
As the clock rolled over to midnight on New Year’s Eve, I was driving my grandson around the block to try to get him back to sleep. My husband had already retreated to bed, since the baby would not settle with noise around and his Mom too sick to hold him. Within minutes of getting in the car, he nodded off into slumber and I returned home.
As I pulled in the driveway, the snow was coming down lightly, the wreath hung on the light at the front door and although it wasn’t exactly how I wanted to ring in the New Year, I realized I had a cozy, warm home, a beautifully decorated and lit Christmas tree ready to greet us inside, the cuddles of the cutest and most snuggly butter ball of a baby in his fuzzy sleeper and my favourite people all nestled in my life.
Even though the glorious moment of peace I experienced outside the door was soon replaced with the sounds of vomiting in the bathroom, I felt distinctly alive, ready to take on another year ahead and with confidence knowing that we have all been through so much already, there is nothing we can’t handle together.
Happy New Year and blessings from our recently disinfected home to yours…
‘There’s a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out.’ ~ Lou Reed
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