Healing from Grief

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With an open mind, I attended ‘The Experience’ with Theresa Caputo. Although I have only occasionally watched her show, Long Island Medium, I was intrigued by the idea of a woman channelling spirits of those who have died, in order to deliver healing messages to loved ones.

Although I had read, in advance, of claims of her being fake, a fraud or an eloquent entertainer, at best, I wanted to see with my own eyes how she was going to pull this off. Was it going to be like a magic show, where it would be so fascinating and believable, even though we know it is an illusion?

Standing on the steps of the Essar Centre, waiting to file into the arena, I watched as hundreds of others were doing the same. I became vividly aware, in that moment, just how many people were grieving.

As I have been on a mission to assist others in a living a more fulfilling life, over the last dozen years, grief has been a very common theme. People who are grieving a loss of a loved one or loved ones can experience a shift in their reality, which causes them to stop living fully.

A death can be so traumatic for some people that they never truly recover. Some feel that they can no longer enjoy celebrations, laugh or do fun things, because the grief has consumed their energy. Some have difficulty moving forward, because they feel a sense of regret or guilt about how a person died or what was said or unsaid, before their passing.
Others haven’t been able to feel a sense of closure because they have unanswered questions, there were unexplained circumstances or they can’t believe that it happened so suddenly or unexpectedly. Still others haven’t been able to process the fact that their child, a young person or a tragedy has taken someone’s life so unfairly.

I looked around the arena and watched as people shed tears, were searching for Kleenex, blowing their nose or simply sitting in awe of what they were witnessing around them. We cried for complete strangers who were pouring out their deepest, private and most painful life experiences with an entire audience because they believed a woman with a gift has the power to communicate with someone they have lost.

For me, my investigative stance, upon attending the event was soon replaced with a genuine empathy and compassion for those who were sharing in this experience with me. The people who were able to talk directly with Theresa often transformed before our eyes, from visible inner turmoil and anxiety to deep, calming breaths and a sense of peace.

Whether Theresa Caputo has a massive team, who were able to pull off copious amounts of research and generalized statements that could be applicable to anyone, or whether she possesses a true and genuine gift of communication with spirits and souls who have left the physical world, I will never know.

What I do know is that it certainly was an experience that I will never forget and I choose to continue to believe that the end of our physical body does not mean the end of our existence. My philosophy is that if we don’t have concrete scientific proof either way, why not believe in a concept that gives us hope or makes us feel better?

I can’t possibly fathom what the point of life is, if we just hang around on earth for an average of seventy or eighty years, for no particular reason. I have to believe that there is something bigger going on, which we may not comprehend or understand or be privy to, while we are here.

The two things that I remember the most, about what Theresa Caputo said, was that we are unable to heal from grief if we focus on the moment of someone’s death, especially if it was sudden, traumatic or unexpected and that we need to pay attention to the coincidences or strange things that happen, as these are signs that spirits are with us.

I think that many people heard the core intention of her message, which she was able to deliver without skipping a beat, and left with a lighter load of darkness, pain, worry or hurt, as a result of a death that they carried like a burden, in their mind or heart.

Regardless if this woman is a legitimate medium or not, she helped some people to heal. For me, that was worth my time, money and effort to attend. Some of the darkest memories of my life so far, involved awful circumstances that were etched in my memory.

After this ‘experience’, I realized that the last moment of the lives of people on earth do not represent the totality of their life. That one moment in time was just that – one moment in time. Moving forward and healing from grief, or dealing with a death is a process, one stage at a time.

Theresa Caputo may have nudged some people onto the next stage and reminded us to believe and know that our spirit lives on. For that, if for no other reason, I feel grateful that she came to our community. Maybe now, individuals and families can continue in their healing and begin to truly embrace their life and loved ones who are still with them.

‘Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become part of who you are and build again.’ ~ Rachel Naomi Remen