Letter: To all you new Mothers out there from a concerned Mother


IM GOING ON A RANT this morning! Watched another story on the news about a young mother who committed suicide because she had post partum depression that her husband says was exacerbated by having trouble breast feeding.

The experts say 75 percent of mothers have trouble breastfeeding but feel horribly guilty and a failure if they can’t or don’t want to, even from the outset. The breastfeeding pressure is nuts and is set up to make mothers feel they are a failure if they can’t! If you can and WANT to , great but if you are driving yourself crazy trying to and it’s not working, or you JUST DONT WANT TO, tell the hospital, or nurses or doctors or family members to SHUT THE ….UP and do what you want or are comfortable with, supplementing or bottle feed exclusively.

I know I’m going to take crap for this from the earth mother types out there but I DONT CARE. The incidents of PPD have definitely increased since this pressure to breastfeed is caught on. Guess what? NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO OR CANT, so do what you want guilt free and tell the rest to shut up!

-Alona Nelson


  1. Finally somebody speaking up about the pressure of breastfeeding! I had so many people (including strangers) ask during my pregnancy if I was going to breastfeed my baby. The stress of becoming a new mom to a precious little newborn was stressful enough as other moms would agree. When my breast milk didn’t end up coming in until almost a week later, I had already come to terms with bottlefeeding and then yet again, I was still encouraged by medical professionals that “I could still try if I wanted to”. After telling them that I had emotionally made the decision to bottlefeed and that I was going to stick with that, I felt so guilty for days because of the continuous chatter about how “breast is best”. I couldn’t understand and still don’t of the pressure people and medical professionals put on new moms. After much encouragement from friends and family and baby gaining healthy weight, I finally started to realize that bottle feeding is just as sufficient as breastfeeding. Hang in there new moms and thanks for this awesome post! ❤️

  2. I suffer from ptsd and ppd after my youngest was born and i didnt have help from my so or really anyone for that matter.. Its a hard disease to deal with but everything does an will be better. Now i have left SO due to his abuse cuz he couldnt handle my ptsd or ppd now that i got rid of him i feel better for the most part… Dont let anyone use ur ppd or any mental health disease against u. Do what makes u feel comfortable because that is what ur baby needs baby needs you to be comfortable for them to be comfortable and content… All ladies living with mentsl health disease i am proud of all u its hard but i know we can all do it!

  3. The struggles I went thru trying to breastfeed, and the pressure and looks of disgust when I didn’t end up being able to, were horrifying. I suffered with guilt for so long. Inadequacy. I dont anymore thank goodness, but this is just what new moms (and not so new moms ) need to hear!! ?Thank u for this Alona❤

  4. Alona great job.. i suffered from postpartum depression a year ago and i have created a support group here in sault ste marie and area for mothers. Its called Moms the word. A voice for mother with postpartum . We meet to have groups starting this week and u can follow us on facebook… thanks for speaking about this.

  5. RIGHT ON…… Raised 5 kids on the bottle and only whole milk after 3 months and the whole bunch turned out healthy as hell… This whole breastfeeding thing is blown way out of proportion….

    • Thanks Bill! I hope people share this. I’m trying to get the message out without getting shut down by all the hard nosed advocates who keep saying it’s the only way to go.

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