Uncommon Sense


I learned of a story where a person posted a photo of themselves doing something illegal. The photo received several hundred likes from their social media friends. With the background visible in the photo, the location was clearly identifiable. A screenshot was then taken of the photo and the caption, where the person was bragging about it. The photo was then forwarded along.

Can you imagine that the person was then all upset that somehow the photo ended up in the wrong hands? It was as if the person was up in arms that one of their several hundred friends or friends of friends might have been responsible for snitching on them. The person was calling up and blaming other people because they are now potentially facing consequences for doing illegal and prohibited activities and then posting it on social media. Go figure?

I am baffled by the lack of common sense in this day and age. The first thing I do, when screening candidates for a job, rental or business partnership is to check their social media and Internet presence. It isn’t rocket science to google someone or get onto their profiles. Especially in a small town, pretty much everyone is connected to someone. It is beyond comprehension to me why anyone would brag, write about, take photos of, post photos of, take videos of or share illegal, immoral or potentially detrimental things that they are doing on their free time, for the world to see.

The kicker is that these individuals then blame others for their immaturity, lack of intelligence, temporary lapse in judgment or stupidity, as if someone else is the cause their problem. I am sure glad that cell phones, Internet and social media was not around in when I was growing up; however, with all of the awareness going on about privacy and online risks, it is time that some individuals get with the program. Do people really want to risk losing opportunities or damaging their careers or their future?

This situation reminds me of how many in the latest generations of youth have been raised without accountability or consequences to their actions. We have coddled, spoiled, pampered and primed our children to walk around with the attitude that they can’t do any wrong. We have often kept them in a bubble, handed them things on a platter or allowed them to get away with behaviours that we would have been punished for, in our day.

Mistakes are a regular occurrence, in all of our lives. Many of our decisions may have been made without fully thinking things through. There are times when we have made poor choices, although it is not suitable to pay for these things for the rest of our lives. On one hand, we are all human and it is part of life to stumble and fall. On the other hand, we will all do ourselves and those around us a favour when we admit to our wrongdoing, take responsibility for our choices, make amends and once we have learned our lesson, decide not to repeat our actions.

We are all on a path in life. Many stagger on the path, aimlessly wandering from one place to another, without thinking. Others have a clear direction and know exactly where they are headed and what they want out of their journey. Still others, bump into everyone along the way, haphazardly asking for directions and then blaming others when they get lost.

What is your path in life? Are you blaming others or are you taking responsibility for your part? If others are blaming you, are you allowing them to erode you, beat you down, drain your self-esteem and self-value or are you standing your ground and holding them accountable for their actions? Are you energized or are you exhausted from your journey? Are you confident or are you timid? Are you clear or are you lost?

Since uncommon sense seems to be the norm these days, realizing that we can’t change anyone else might be our best option. If someone wants to ruin their future by advertising to the world how irresponsible and messed up they were during a temporary lapse in judgement, then that is their path. If someone wants to deflect all of their issues onto you and blame you for their problems, that is their path. If you want to stay healthy in the meantime, you have to decide what you will or won’t involve yourself in and if you will allow them to take your power away, by making you miserable.

We can’t make a battered woman leave an unhealthy relationship. We can’t make someone stop talking trash about us. We can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to put in the effort to make change. We can’t force someone to grow up. We can’t stop someone else from getting angry. We can’t take something back, that we have said. We can’t change something that we have already done.

What we can do is decide that we will get very clear on what we need to get and stay healthier, without it involving the need for someone else to change. What do we need to do for us? What can we take action on? What do we have to avoid? What do we need to change about ourselves? What can we do to establish boundaries? Who do we need to reach out to? What steps do we need to take? What do we need to do to heal?

Unfortunately, it often takes challenges, chaos and frustration to move us to action. We should actually appreciate adversity and struggle because, in hindsight, it is usually during the greatest challenges of our lives, where we have shifted directions. Hopefully, our paths will lead us to a better, happier, joyful and more peaceful life experience. If not, time to find our way out of the forest and pick a different path.

‘Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.’ ~ Author Unknown (Laughed so hard, I had to share)