Out of balance…


I knew I had been burning the candle at both ends lately. Actually, I wouldn’t trust me with a candle at all, since I would likely burn a place down. Running on much less sleep than normal, pulling two all-nighters within a week and feeling like a bit of a zombie lately, it is remarkable how lack of proper sleep can be so hazardous.

In the middle of a major work and business transition, within our building, and on the front line of the chaos associated with that, my ‘to do’ board read more like a multi-page manifesto. There were hundreds of tasks to complete, within a two-week period and I needed everything in writing to make it happen. Although I had great intentions of staying balanced, throughout the process, I failed miserably.

When I have busy projects on the go, I tend to talk to myself out loud. A few times, I realized that I was actually talking to myself in a public place. Catching myself, mid-sentence, with someone looking on, I would simply touch my finger to my ear and pretend that I had an earpiece in, to make it look like I was on a high-tech phone device. I am not sure if it worked, but I felt a bit like being on a secret squirrel, undercover policing assignment, like the old days.

I was quite proud of myself, though, that part way through this crazy, busy time, I managed to change the sheets on our bed. It doesn’t matter that the dirty sheets are still in pile in the laundry room because the laundry is located well into the basement, out of the sight, compared to our old house with highly visible, main floor laundry.

The only problem with changing the sheets is that apparently I forgot to put a new top sheet on the bed, when re-making it. My husband went to slip into bed for the night, while I was still working at the office, apparently trying to pull back the sheets to get in and there wasn’t one. I didn’t find out until the next day, but it was the least of my worries.

For some reason, unexplained, I also ended up with various bruises on my arms. One is the size of a tennis ball, in the shape of a square, on my forearm, surrounded by several bruises in the shape of fingerprints. Although he denies it, and running into an odd shaped piece of fitness equipment is vaguely familiar, I think my husband must have tried pinning me down after I woke up screaming from the third night terror in a row.

I don’t really know what the big deal is. I barely wake up and fall quickly back to sleep. Just because he remains awake for several hours after, isn’t really my highest concern at the moment. He should just sleep with ear plugs. All kidding aside though, I really have no clear recollection of how I got these awful bruises and he swears he didn’t lay a hand on me.

I became a bit like an elephant this week, since elephants can either sleep standing up or while lying down on the ground. It is a skill I am proud to have mastered. You have to do what you have to do, when faced with the dilemma of fall over from exhaustion or pick the cleanest spot on the floor to catch a cat nap. Bunching up a hoodie sweater in a ball makes for a great pillow, in emergency situations.

Since I didn’t have time to do anything with my hair, I would shower and let my hair dry naturally. I guess it was a bit too out of control since my sister gently used both of her hands on either side of my head in an attempt to tame my fuzzy hair, part way through one of our conversations. The next, day, with the intention of drying and curling my hair, I turned the curling iron on, before I had a shower.

Apparently I left it on, all day and night, forgetting to curl my hair at all. No worries, though. I realized it before burning the house down, when I grabbed it by the barrel end, burning my hand instead, the next morning. It’s ok though, because it was the same hand as the bruises. I still have full control of my right and uninjured hand and arm, so all is good.

I knew I was really losing it, though, when I had left the office at 5am to head home and I thought I saw a UFO. I swear there was a bright white light zipping frantically through the sky, in a circle and then hoovering in place whenever I stopped my car. I pulled over to videotape it, but it didn’t move at all, when filmed. Later, we surmised that it was probably Venus and an optical illusion whenever I was in motion and changing directions, in my vehicle, or it was a drone.

While I had my car pulled over, though, I looked over on a patch of grass, next to a set of train tracks. There was a large black box, with booster cables, a phone charging cord, a mini flash light that looked like it was glued to it and the word ‘compressor’ on the label.

My first reaction was that the UFO, or the drone, dropped a device to monitor earthlings, or blow us up. Then, in attempting to piece a string of thoughts together, from my tired brain, I concluded that it was probably thrown or lost from a vehicle, after a break and enter or a quick turn around the corner. I proceeded to call the police, in case it had been reported lost or stolen.

My week was full of drama, putting out fires and managing chaos, while also turning over a new year of my life calendar, eating delicious meals out and experiencing some of the most spectacular sunrises and sunsets that I have ever witnessed. To stay awake, through it all, I indulged in plenty of caffeine. Since I am not too keen on coffee, lots of chocolate did the trick.

With my swollen ankles and feet that looked like clubs, by the end of the day, I would jump in the shower and scrub off the dirt and sweat, catch up with my loving husband, who is on holidays, immersed in his own projects. He would rub my swollen feet, as I would attempt to raise them on the edge of couch.I would first rhyme off all of the frustrating occurrences of the day, followed by a list of people, clients, family and helpers who have been helpful, patient, understanding and supportive. Mid-sentence, I would then fall asleep.

We tend to take on too much, we push ourselves past our limits, we say yes to more than we can handle, we complain about it, we drag ourselves through it and then we manage to come out on the other side, with a sense of accomplishment.

Life is like that. Don’t worry about me though, I will be fine. So will you, when your week looks like mine was. We are much more resilient than we think, when faced with the big stuff or the small stuff. My suggestion is to get as much sleep or rest, as possible, even if you have to pull up the nearest corner of the floor, be grateful for what you do have in your life, make lots of lists, so you can track your progress, attempt to keep a positive outlook, perspective and attitude and be sure to celebrate, afterwards.

‘Most people who are recognized for their remarkable accomplishments started out stumbling and struggling just like anyone else.’ ~ Sharon Cook and Graciela Sholander